The stuff in the sink said its first words to me After I scraped it off my plate from my supper. It asked me if I ever thought of bathing, I answered it quite honestly no. When I watch TV I make room for my sweater; Though he prefers Oprah, and I like Star Trek. I bring the beer home, and he makes the popcorn. We play with the remote control. Home where the dishes are stuck to the counter Home where the mountains are in the ashtrays Home where I never can be lonely Cause my underwear has a lot to say. The piles of pizza boxes keep the roof from falling in and make a home for the dust bunnies. There are beer cans in the bathtub and critters on the walls, and they excel at playing twister. Home where the dishes are stuck to the counter. Home where the mountains are in the ashtrays. Home where I never can be lonely, Cause my leftovers have a lot to say. If you'd been left by a woman, don't lie I know that you have. If you live your life right you won't need her, and your sheets will hug you as hard as they can. Home where the dishes are stuck to the counter. Home where the mountains are in the ashtrays. Home where I never can be lonely, Cause my bathtub rings have a lot to say. The bread stopped me on the way out the door And asked me what time I'd be home. I said "It's none of your business," And she said "If you're going to be late, At least you could do is phone" Home where the dishes are stuck to the counter. Home where the mountains are in the ashtrays. Home where I never can be lonely, Cause my shaving scum has a lot to say