Played myself, innit silly of me? Got me so worked up, I'm here grinding my teeth Still saved as Hottie Number 3 What did you do to me? My lips are chapped from kissing your ass Look at me all tucked in with your big red flags You said I quote: "I'm not really a boyfriend guy" Surprise surprise I'm here, desperate and down bad You said you might do that The heads up was nice You tried to tell me No, it's not your fault you're a dumbass I've always known that Now, there's tears in my eyes Surprise surprisе So you mean to tell me Thе guy that could barely Hug his own mother is not the one that you'll marry? Oh, what a shock! What a horror! Turns out he's a real weird vibe And that's when most people say their goodbyes But truth be told, God knows I love a DIY You said I quote, "I'm just not the commitment type" Surprise surprise I'm here, desperate and down bad You said you might do that The heads up was nice You tried to tell me No, it's not your fault you're a dumbass I've always known that Now, there's tears in my eyes Surprise surprise Prince Charming left the building Who was I to assume? I try to walk away but I’m a sucker for doom Oh oh oh I know you’re not a winner And I’m wasted on you Inebriated by the stench Of your cheap perfume Oh oh I'm here, desperate and down bad You said you might do that The heads up was nice You tried to tell me No, it's not your fault you're a dumbass I've always known that Now, there's tears in my eyes Surprise surprise