We were driving to Birmingham, Alabama and my buddy Keith was driving the truck And this lady about ran us off the road in a cadillac. She just kinda smiled when she went by, and he has road rage and he said look at that Big Fat Bitch So I grabbed my little travel guitar out of the back and went Big fat bitch she's a big ol big ol fat bitch she goes to Ryan's and they say, "Shit! this one's gonna cost us... she's a big ol bitch!" She's a big ol bitch She sweats grits you can hide a pound of dope under one of her tits Big fat bitch She's a big ol bitch Who stole Christmas? The Grinch Who stole the Twinkies? big fat bitch! She's a big ol bitch Yeah she had this cajun friend who had a pet alligator She ate that some-bitch like it was a green Now N Later or a fried green da-mator You'd have to have a turbo-foaming car wash brush to masterbate her She's a big ol bitch She's a big ol bitch When she was eight years old she had a Pogo stick that would say, "hey Wanda!" And they'd go "song-tong-thong-song-tong-thong" And now her pogo stick says, "HOLY F*CKING SHIT!" And they go "Bount. Bount." She's a big ol bitch She's a big ol bitch She gargles and drools and spits and she makes all kinds of noise She chases the ice cream man down Cunningham in her corduroys She's a big ol bitch She's a big ol big fat bitch!!!!