Tulane and Johnny opened a novelty shop Back under the counter, was the cream of the crop Everything was clickin' and the business was good 'Til one day, lo and behold, an officer stood Johnny jumped the counter but he stumbled and fell But Tulane made it over Johnny as he yelled Go ahead on, Tulane, he can't catch up with you Go Tulane, he ain't man enough for you Go Tulane, use all the speed you got Go Tulane, you know you need a lot Go Tulane, he's laggin' behind Go 'head on, Tulane go head on Go by your father's house and tell him business is slow And see if he will loan us something, soon as he hits the dough Put the cat out in the hall and rumple up the room Go by Doctor Keller's, tell him you swallowed some perfume Tell him we need him quick, 'cuz he may have to testify That you been sick all day and that's a perfect alibi Go ahead on, Tulane, he can't catch up with you Go Tulane, he ain't man enough for you Go Tulane, use all the speed you got Go Tulane, you know you need a lot Go Tulane, he's laggin' behind Go 'head on, Tulane go head on Go, let Danny drive in case you run into the Man Back by the shop and git the stuff and hide it in the van Go back by your father's, get the money for the bail And bring it down and bail me out this rotten, funky jail We gotta get a lawyer in the click of politics Somebody who can win the thing or get the thing fix Go ahead on, Tulane, he can't catch up with you Go Tulane, he ain't man enough for you Go Tulane, use all the speed you got Go Tulane, you know you need a lot Go Tulane, he's laggin' behind Go 'head on, Tulane go head on Go Tulane