I was surprised, I was happy for a day in 1975 I was puzzled by a dream, stayed with me all day in 1995 My brother had confessed that he was gay It took the heat off me for a while He stood up with a sailor friend Made it known upon my sisters wedding day I got married in a rush to save a kid from being deported Now she's in love I was so touched, I was moved to kick the crutches From my crippled friend She was not impressed that I cured her on the Sabbath So I went to confess When she saw the funny side, we introduced my child bride To whisky and gin The priest in the booth had a photographic memory For all he had heard He took all of my sins and he wrote a pocket novel called "The State I Am In" So I gave myself to God There was a pregnant pause before he said ok Now I spend my day turning tables round In Marks & Spencer's They don't seem to mind I gave myself to sin And I've been there and back again I gave myself to Providence The state that I am in Oh love of mine, would you condescend to help me I am stupid and blind Desperation is the Devil's work, it is the folly of a boys empty mind Now I'm feeling dangerous, riding on city buses for a hobby is sad Lead me to a living end I promised that I'd entertain my crippled friend My crippled friend