[Singers:] Here is the tale of a babysitting job, the baby is something of a snob, [Stewie:] Oh, go fuck yourselves [Singers:] So listen very closely, and you'll find that what they say is not the same as what's on their minds [Haylie:] Aren't you a cute little boy [Haylie's Thoughts:] look at that melon shaped head [Stewie:] Having you here is a joy [Stewie's Thoughts:] and in an hour you'll be dead [Haylie:] Sit on my knee [Haylie's Thoughts:] please don't go poo [Stewie:] Nice place to be [Stewie's Thoughts:] This one's for you [Both:] Babysitting is a bum deal [Haylie:] Why don't we watch Will & Grace [Thought:] Jesus, do I need a smoke [Stewie:] Jack puts a smile on my face [Thought:] oh, what a surprise, a gay joke [Haylie:] I like your house [Thought:] the ceiling has cracks [Stewie:] I like your blouse [Thought:] Miss TJ Maxx [Both:] Babysitting is a bum deal [Singers:] So they sat as time went by [Haylie:] slowly as time could go [Singers:] the baby blarred, and softly cursed [Stewie:] cause her lips, and her skirt, and her shoes, and her hair made her look like a hoe [Haylie:] Time for your bottle my sweet [Thought:] This little brat smells like piss [Stewie:] alway's a succulent treat [Thought:] while I suck that, you suck this [Haylie:] Aren't you a sight [Thought:] look at him drool [Stewie:] you're a delight [Thought:] Damn you, you fool [Both:] Babysitting is a bum deal [Singers:] The diaper change was quite a job [Haylie:] the grossest I've ever seen [Singers:] The baby smiled and took a breath [Stewie:] and I grunted and pooped out a poop, that looked something like Matthew Modine [Haylie:] someday you might meet a girl [Thought:] yeah, she's gonna be your right hand [Stewie:] Maybe it's you my sweet pearl [Thought:] darling, i'd rather fuck sand [Haylie:] Have a good night [Thought:] you little creep [Stewie:] Have a good night [Thought:] Die in your sleep [Both:] Babysitting is a bum deal Babysitting is a bum deal