[Guitar Intro:] [Singers:]Brian! Skate! Brian! Skate! Brian! Fight! Brian! Skate! [Lead Singer:] What would Brian Boitano do if he was here right now? He'd make a plan and he'd follow through. That's what Brian Boitano'd do. Brian! Skate! Brian! Fight! When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics skating for the gold, he did two solchows and a triple lutz while wearing a blindfold. When Brian Boitano was in the Alps fighting grizzly bears, he used his magical fire-breath and saved the maidens, fair. Brian! S-s-skate! Brian! Live! So what would Brian Boitano'd do if he was here today? I'm sure he'd kick an arse or two. That's what Brian Boitano'd do. Brian! Skate! Brian! Live! When Brian Boitano traveled through time to the year 3010, he fought the evil robot king and saved us all agian. When Brian Boitano built the pyramids, he beat up Kounlah Khan! Cause Brian Boitano doesn't take shit from an-y-bo-dy! [Man In Back:] No! Brian! Those chicken wings are really spicy! Don't eat those! [Singers:] I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings. I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings. I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings. [man:]AAAHHHH! I've never seen a man eat so many chicken wings! AAAHHHH! I've never seen a man EAT SO MANY CHICKEN WINGS!! AAAHHHH!! I'VE NEVER SEEN A MAN EAT SO MANY CHICKEN WINGS!!! AAAHHHH!!! I'VE NEVER SEEN A MAN EAT SO MANY CHICKEN WINGS!!!! Brian! Skate! Brian! Fight! Brain Boitano-o was born on the planet of Krynuk. He came to Earth to save us all from borans and unstuck. Hideedodee! Hideeday! Brian Boitano's here. So round up all your lasses and tell 'em they have no fears. Say, "Come over here my honey, and come and I'll take off my pants. and I'm gonna make dirty love to you, cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do." Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd DO!