Fine Romance A fine romance, my good fellow, you take romance, I'll take jello, you're calmer than the seals in the Atlantic Ocean at least they flap their fins to express emotion. A fine romance with no quarrels, with no insults, and all morals, I've never mussed the crease in your blue serge pants, I never get the chance, this is a fine romance! A fine romance, with no kisses, a fine romance, my friend this is, to lack half the thrills that a healthy crime has, we don't have half the thrills that the march of time has. A fine romance, with no clinches, a fine romance, with no flinches, you're just as hard to land as the Ille de France, I haven't got the chance, my heart isn't made of plastic, you're too sarcastic, this is a fine romance!