I'm a collector, I collect anything I find I never throw anything away that's mine And I'd collect you too if I was given half a chance And trap you under the glass and add my autograph I catalog, I preserve, and I index And file you into my collectible Rolodex I keep the rubbish what other people give away And keep all of the pieces in a metal tray Hoard - collect - file - index Catalog - preserve - amass - index I'm a collector and I've always been misunderstood I like the things that people always seem to overlook I gather up and catalog it in a book I wrote There's so much now that I forget if I don't make a note If I collected you and put you in a little cage I could take you out and study you every day It isn't easy being me, it's kind of lonely work My obligation to collecting is my only thirst